HR Professionals BEWARE...!!!

In my 33 months of experience as an HR, Recruitment, in one of the MNCs listed on NASDAQ I came across a lot of situations wherein I had to compromise on my values to add value to the Organizational objectives. Many a times I found my job unethical, sometimes unjustified and sometimes useless. Trust me when I say this, being an HR completely changes your outlook over a period of time. You become extremely professional. Now the word professional is a mild one. The word most suited here would be 'Curt'. There were days when Human Resource and Resource were used to refer to two different sets of Inputs in a business. But slowly and gradually, the businesses, in pursuit of surviving the competition have forgotten the difference. Now, the scenario is that if you call up your Boss to tell him/her about your inability to come to work, the first thought that comes to his/her mind is "O' F*** One resource short".

Well...!!! Now the Human Resource is very well aware of the roles and responsibilities of HR personnel and their tricks and smart ways of working.

Some call it 'Hardly Required', while others prefer 'Harassing Resource'. What are we talking about? HR = once known as 'Human Resources'. With changing times, the Human got lost somewhere and the Resources are no more accessible. We've all had our rather unpleasant experiences (99% of the time) with this species that every company hires to bring some method to madness.

We've all waited with baited breath for that one call or one email. But they just don't bother to convey the response - especially if it's negative. Here's a lowdown on some common excuses, statements, reasons whatever - used by HR professionals, and what they really mean so you are not left hoping and anticipating for that response for days and even months sometimes.

1. We'll get back to you / We'll call you for the next round
This is that one thing, which is inscribed on each and every HR textbook in college, we are sure. And we are also sure there are special classes on voice modulation and acting, when it comes to saying it. Each one of them practised repeating this one line again and again, even in their dreams. And every successful HR professional has scored a 100/100 on this one.

What it means: You hear this, and it's all over for you. They just forgot to add that 'never' before the 'get back to you'. Never ever even in your most optimistic dreams, expect a positive... sorry... any response from this person ever in your life.

Piece of advice: Move on. There are better pastures to be captured.
2. We are waiting for the top management's decision / The decision maker is not in town
Wow! What a way to shoo away a candidate.

What it means: It means there is no top management. And if there is, they don't even know you exist. This HR professional wanted to break the cliche (refer statement no 1), and came up with this one.

Piece of advice: Google the company's CEO/VP/Director's email id, and send an email to this HR person, putting all the biggies on cc. You might just get someone fired. Revenge was never this sweet.
3. The position is on hold
This one's a classic rage this season. Its origin lies in recession, and this one statement has been ruling the recruitment industry for the last couple of years. You usually get to hear this one after 10 calls to the HR department.

What it means: Forget that you even went to this company for an interview. Put on hold all the dreams you ever had to join them.

Piece of advice: Please move on. It's the classic 'The End' with a different sound.

I am sure there are a lot more innovative words of wisdom some of you would have been subjected to.

But I am worried that this increasing awareness will put the HRs in a situation wherein any smart answer from them will invite a smart abuse...

HR Beware...!!!

Indian Driving Standards...!!!

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to God. The hints are as follows:

Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction.Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town! . Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead. Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or, just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwaters to recede when overground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success. Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms,it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Chenghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night,on the trunk roads.

During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just an statement of physical relief on a hot day.

If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am-when the police have gone home and - The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in the constitution.

Do we Always have a Choice...!!!

I was watching this usual action flick on my laptop wherein the lead actress, oops!!! lead female actor kept spreading this message which said "We Always Have a Choice". No wonder by the end of the movie I was convinced that we always have a choice. But when the hangover of the movie was gone I gave it a second thought. Do we Always have a Choice? Really!!! Does that imply we are never option less. Well!! I did a detailed analysis on this, spoke to various people but what I got at the end were perceptions and not facts.

Now, when I am writing on this, trust me I really do not know whether we always have a choice or not. However, I have identified some facts about this which are universal and pervasive. First and foremost is that each and every choice has a cost attached to it. Now, we tend to avoid the choices completely which have a cost which is beyond our scope and we end up saying that We did not have a choice. Having said that, Do we really have a choice all the time? As I mentioned earlier I do not know the answer. Most of the times, when we take certain decisions and if those decisions do not produce good results we end up saying or realizing that there were other options as well. So why is it that we forget to identify other options at the very beginning. Is it because we do not want to deviate or is it because we are too stereotype to venture into unexpected plains? or maybe its because we are careless. The approach of decision making requires one to analyze all the options and then to chose one. However, how many of us can swear on our mums that we do that all the time? Most of the time we just go by our gut feeling. It also depends upon the kind of risk involved. People generally tend to think twice and identify more and more choices when a lot is at stake and vice versa.

What if Ramalinga Raju, the man behind the decline of Satyam Computers comes and says he did not have a choice. How many of us would agree? I do not think any of the readers of this blog would!!!

Now, What if the government of Gujarat says that they had a choice pertaining to the Earthquake which shook the foundations of this state in 2001. How many of us would believe? I think None!!!

Well, it implies that if the problem can be solved by some or the other means irrespective of the solution being under the scope of the concerned person, we say that there was a choice. If the problem can not be solved by any means then we say that there was no choice.

My Dearest Friend's younger sister succumbed to Swine Flu on 28th Sep, 4 days and game over. She had nothing but just mild fever and she was taken to the hospital in the afternoon, by evening she was moved to the ICU and she never came back. My Friend Neha, still can't believe that her sis is no more. Did neha have a choice? Offcourse she had, and that was to pray to God, Alas!!! this choice was not a very good choice or maybe she did not have a choice at all.

With brimming eyes, when we see our near and dear ones go, we crave for one single choice, but we do not get any. This is one situation wherein I feel that we have no choice at all, else we do have a choice but all depends upon our intensity, the risk involved and our dedication to give our best which determines the number of choices we identify to tackle various situations.

Interactive Theater

On 22nd Aug, led by her, I got to know of a theater performance which was scheduled at 7pm in Seminar Hall 1 of our college. It was 6:30pm and I did not know whether to attend it or not as I was feeling very lethargic and a typical action movie on my laptop was all I desired. Something in me, not really sure what exactly, made me get ready and be a part of it. I readily followed that something. To be honest, I followed that strange instinct just to avoid being in my hostel room. In half an hour I found myself standing outside the Seminar Hall 1, the corridor was flooded with the juniors from the new Aug batch. Their excitement was very well justified. I registered myself and entered the hall. It was chaotic, warm and indifferent. I was a little restless since I did not find any favourite people around. I sat comfortably waiting for some excitement.

Little did I know that the next 2 hours would give me so many stunners. I had seen a couple of theater performances in Kala-Mandir in Kolkata during my college days. Never did any of those performance had a lasting impact on me. No wonder I do not even remember the theme of those performances. Thus, I was expectation-less.

To my amazement the hall was soon filled to its full capacity. Honestly, I was not expecting such a good response from the students. Not all were art lovers, in fact some turned up just to have a glance at the chicks / hunks around. Though, I did not conduct a survey but I can very well conclude since my decision of being a part of it was mainly led by this objective.

The show started with a nice, sweet, fat lady trying to tell us what they had in store for us. She mentioned that its not a normal theater performance wherein the actors act as per the script and the audience have no other option but to doze off. That is when she introduced the term "Interactive Theater". It caught my attention and I was curious to know what service differentiation is she talking about. Soon she threw a question at the Audience which said "What comes to your mind when I say CAMPUS? ". The question looked terribly foolish but since the excitement was too much, it overpowered the ability to tag the question as foolish and the audience happily responded including me. Some of the answers were "Sutta", "Horrible food", "Washing Clothes", "Case-Studies", "Friendships", "Chicks", "girlfriends" etc etc. The anchor was satisfied to the core and she left the stage for the actors. Let me first discuss the look and feel of the stage and the actors. The actors were dressed in a white kurta and denims. All of them looked the same except their faces being different. Once the anchor left, one by one the artists started enacting the opinion/views/perceptions of the audience of the word CAMPUS. The most innovative thing about this entire concept was that the actors did not discuss anything before enacting as they were all their on the stage when the question was asked by the anchor. They just did not interact with the audience but among themselves too. The most incredible thing about the entire act was that it looked like someone has planned it to the minutest detail and that the actors have been rehearsing since birth.

There were other such questions and then answers and then enactments. Now, towards the end the anchor asked the audience to close their eyes and think of one event which changed the way they perceived the World. E'one around followed and the magic was working. People actually started stressing their nerves to identify that incident. Now, the anchor announced that she will let one of us to discuss the story to all present and then the same story would be enacted by the actors present there with one of them playing the role of the orator. One of the champs discussed his experience of heart break, how it led to his rise and fall and then rise again. I was bored to the core listening to the story not just because the story was boring but because we are so used to background music in films that the entire story-telling process looked like the worst crime on earth.

I was curious to see how creative the actors can get in enacting the story. Let me tell you guys, I am not able to create even 1% of my excitement through this blog. The actors began with personifications with somone being the clock, someone being the thought, someone the marksheet and someone the binoculars which were used by the lead actor to peep into the room of the lead actress.

Without props, without costumes and without lousy backgrounds they were still able to take us to a ride into our imaginations. We, the audience could actually feel the entire thing going on in our brain like a well directed film. It was INCREDIBLE. I still wonder......

Desi is Boring...!!!

India has always shown a tendency of aping the west. We love the western culture and not only we adopt it but we also promote it. We always get fascinated by the word "Imported" however this word is interpreted as the sign of caution in the western countries.

I do not intend to start a never ending debate on Indian vs Western culture. What I intend to discuss here is "Is Desi really Boring...?"

Well! Not Really!!!

We like pizzas but we still find peace in stuffed paratha. We crave for noodles but we still find solace in idly-sambhar. We long for burgers and french fries but we just cannot imagine our lives without dal-chawal and sabzi.

We like the freedom in the west but ask any Westerner if he/she is happy about it. The irony is that they do not even realize the worth. We forget that absolute freedom kills the joy and significance of being free. We still love to argue with our parents for small leverages. We still hide facts from our Dads and pursue our moms for some more. We know that we love it.

We adore Bryan Adams but we love AR Rehman even more. We still find more interest in Abhi-Ash than Brangelina. We love plenty of Hollywood actors and enjoy what they do on the screen but still what strikes a chord in our hearts is the Desi actors and their Desi acts. We often remember the charm of Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic but still DDLJ is our favourite movie.

We admire Abraham Lincoln but still Gandhigiri is our favourite jingo. We criticize the Indian cricket team but still we celebrate its victory. We respect Bill Gates but still Azim Premji is our idol. We enjoy Celine Dion but still Lata Mangeshkar is our Indian nightingale.

We have studied about the most efficient supply chains but still we give the example of dabbawallahs in the marketing exam. We want to study abroad but we still prepare for CAT/IIT JEE.

We have it in us, and we know it, still we shy away from admitting that "Desi Rocks". There is something about Desi which is in our blood, which is all pervasive. We just do not accept it and I am glad to be an exception.

The_Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are not Prince Charming and she is not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the woman in your arms or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with her touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Watching New York Movie

Hi Today, I witnessed a 2 hours and 40 minutes long movie called New York, starring Neil Nitin Mukesh, Katrina Kaif, John Abraham and Irrfan. What should I call it, maybe a piece of sheer foolishness, or maybe a crime in the name of entertainment or maybe a lost opportunity. The plot of the movie is very sensitive and honorable which is based on the detentions of the 9/11 suspects by FBI. The director it seems did a lot of research but failed miserably in delivery. On the one hand, it shows how FBI started detaining the suspects post the attack without any evidence and on the other hand it shows how the FBI is handcuffed when they have enough evidence against a terrorist. Not only this, what seemed to be an utter foolishness was that the wife of the lead terrorist / actor was a human resource activist who knew that her husband was a terrorist but kept mum believing that her husband would leave this black collar job and find himself a white collar one.

Anyways I am not trying to be a movie reviewer here, nor do I intend to demoralize people from watching this movie. I firmly believe in the fact that in this world reality does not exist whatever exists is perceived reality. Everything is situational. To be honest, I really enjoyed watching this movie. After spending 5 days in the lush green, state of art but deserted campus of my college, I was desperate to watch a movie. Moreover, thanks to the multiplex owners who held the strike for so long. It was on friday that Archit, my dearest friend, discovered cheap tickets online for the Sunday morning show. Watching a Yash Raj movie has always been good fun mostly because this production house spends all the money of the audience on beautiful locations abroad. I was delighted to see the New York State University campus where the lead characters of this movie studied.

One of the ads of PVR rightly says, "Real life is boring". It really is or else illogical movies like New York would not run for more than 2 days. What is wrong with the audience! when they have options to watch art in the form of Iqbal, Dor, A Wednesday, Aamir etc they watch movies which have no logic at all. I really pity the directors and producers of meaningful cinema who are able to satisfy their ego by achieving a national award for their work but poor guys are not able to satisfy the lavish needs of their wives and children as their work gets them nothing but critical acclaim.

Am I being too idiotic and stupid? I am being illogical? Maybe I am. Hopefully, you would have understood by now what kind of impact this movie had on me. Have a Great Day...!!!